Free yourself from fear

It saddens me how many of those I work with are held back by fear: of the unknown, of doing something risky, of others’ disapproval.

Fear can have positive purposes. I’m glad my two year-old nephew feels fear. When he’s on the climbing frame in the park, he doesn’t get too near the edge of the platform. When he’s up high, I can see him working out the risks as he contemplates his position. Thankfully he’s got a good sense of what’s an acceptable risk.

But many other of our fears hold us back. Although understandable, they are an obstruction to our development and well-being. We don’t speak to the person we’re drawn to because we fear rejection. We don’t do what we truly believe for fear of what others might think. We play safe, and lead small lives as a result. Can you remember times when you so wanted to do something, and then felt bad because some petty but powerful fear crept up inside you and stopped you from going ahead?

When you’re feeling frightened of something, I think the trick is to concentrate your attention and energies on your desired outcome, not whatever it is you’re frightened of. So, for example, when you are held back from taking a bold step by fear of others’ disapproval, imagine instead what things will be like once you’ve taken that step. What will you feel like? What will your bearing be? How will you look? Allow yourself to be energised by the picture of how things will be once you’ve done whatever it is you want to do. Then you will find that you’re on the way to breaking the power that fear has over you.

Many successful people use visualisations to help them to succeed. When I’m addressing a group, I make sure I know what it is I want to say, sometimes even memorising the opening lines. But rather than getting nervous, I put most of my energy into visualising myself looking relaxed in front of the group and receiving their positive affirmation. It’s amazing how this technique has helped to hone my public speaking skills. Because I’ve seen the event in my mind’s eye in such detail, and imagined it going well, when I stand up to speak it’s almost as if I’ve done it before. This helps me to relax and connect with the audience.

So is the answer to “feel the fear and do it anyhow” as the title of a best-selling self-help book suggests? To a degree. But I suggest it’s best to acknowledge the fear, and then concentrate your energies on the outcome you desire.

So next time you find yourself held back by fear, take time to relax and imagine the outcome of doing whatever it is you are going to do. Be fed by the energy that flows from this. I’m sure that with practice, you will learn to free yourself from fear.

Happy Christmas to you, and may 2007 be a year when you are supremely, and fearlessly, yourself.