Honour your word

How many times has someone promised they’d ring you, only to let you down? As modern means of keeping in touch have mushroomed, it seems that our ability to communicate sometimes suffers. When the only means of leaving a message for someone was an answerphone, if you left a message, you could be pretty sure the person would ring you back. Now you have the option of text, email, instant messaging and voicemail to several phones, I wonder whether messages sometimes get lost, or people feel overwhelmed, or they just don’t want to talk to me!

I think that part of the problem comes from our desire to please other people. This especially applies if someone is waiting for something. We want to please them, so promise that they’ll have it by Wednesday, say. The truth is we know that it will be a struggle to get it done by then, but we’re embarrassed to admit that they’re not likely to have it until the end of the week. So we make an unrealistic promise and fail to meet it.

This array of communication available to us plays a part. How often have you lost emails that you had meant to do something about? I know that many people struggle to keep on top of emails, especially at work. We mean to respond to somebody, get distracted by something else, and then lose the opportunity.

The ability to keep our word is a key part of our personal integrity. This aspect of our character is, I believe, vital to the success of our long-term relationships. It is important in both our private and working lives. The more often you fail to do what you say you’ll do, the more you erode others’ trust and confidence in you. If you’re happy to have casual friends, this may not matter. But if you want relationships that are going to endure, and a career that is going to be satisfying, I think it’s vital to treat your communication with others with the respect it deserves.

I offer my tips below on how to do just that: how to manage the many means of communication you have better, how to become more reliable, how to follow through on your promises. Above all, how to honour your word.

1. Be careful what you promise

The golden rule is to under-promise and over-deliver, rather than over-promise and under-deliver. When somebody asks me to send them something, I always add a few days on to my estimate of when I’ll have done it. So, for example, I say that I’ll let someone have an article by the middle of next week, when I know, that I’m actually likely to be able to finish it this week. This takes the pressure off me, and means that I usually deliver things to people before they were expecting them. It’s particularly vital to under-promise when you’re up against it. If something is going to be late, it’s better to negotiate producing it three days late at the offset, and deliver it two days late, rather than to promise earnestly that it’ll be only one day late, only for you to miss this new deadline.

2. Focus on what’s important: Switch off your email

I’m in the middle of a very busy week. I’m writing this article first thing in the morning as I’ve got a full day of appointments. I’ve not yet opened my email; I don’t want to be distracted by the messages I may have there. The most important thing for me to be doing at the moment is finishing this article. I’m not going to open my email program until I finish the first draft. I would recommend that whenever you’ve got something important to do, you switch off your email program completely. At the very least, switch off the distracting signals that new mail has arrived so that you can focus on the task in hand.

3. Focus on what’s important: Manage your subscriptions

How many newsletters do you subscribe to? To what extent is your inbox cluttered with bulletins about events that you might have been interested in, but no longer have time for? I think it’s worth taking time to think about the things you have signed up to. If you don’t read a particular newsletter or bulletin, take yourself off the subscription list. This usually takes only a few seconds. This will help you to have an inbox that is less cluttered, so you’re more likely to be able to hold on to the messages that are important.

4. Focus on what’s important: Manage your time

Be realistic about what you can and can’t do. I don’t have a rolling to-do list. It’s so depressing and disempowering to have a list that never gets any shorter. I plan my activities on a weekly and daily basis. Each Monday morning I set out my goals for the week, bearing in mind the time that I have available. I include work, personal and domestic tasks on this list. It’s important to be realistic. If I know that I won’t have time to do a particular task in a given week, I don’t write it on that week’s list. Each day I establish what the one most important thing is for me to do on that day. I make sure that, above all else, that task gets done.

5. Focus on what’s important: concentrate on the people that matter

It’s all too easy to get distracted by communication with people who are not really that important in our lives. Who are the friends that matter the most to you? Who do you want to be there for you in years to come? These are the people you should be focusing your efforts on. Make sure you treat them with courtesy and respect. By doing so, you are building up these relationships so that they are much more likely to endure.

There are some simple things you can do to increase your levels of personal integrity. Being a person of your word is vial to your long-term success and happiness. Good luck with putting it all into action. It’s time for me to check my email!