Disappointment in Marrakech

We count ourselves so lucky, so privileged to have the lives we do, and generally take an optimistic view, even in these troubled times.  But last month we went on holiday to somewhere that, in retrospect, we shouldn’t have chosen as a destination.  Our time there was made all the more disappointing as we missed a wonderful week of weather in London, and had pretty miserable weather where we were.  It proved to be a real test of our ability to practise what we preach about accepting what happens and being happy in the moment.

I’d like to share my five tips for dealing with disappointment.

1. Watch your language

When something doesn’t work out, it’s tempting to use dramatic language to describe it.  In my first draft of the opening paragraph of this article, for example, I used the word “awful” to describe the weather where we were.  It wasn’t awful, it just wasn’t very good.  You may get laughs (or even sympathy) by exaggerating, but it doesn’t help you to accept the situation.  Whenever you find yourself tempted to use hyperbole, catch yourself and use less emotive terms.

2. Use your senses

Wherever you find yourself, use your senses to connect with the reality of where you are.  What can you see when you look around you?  What can you hear and smell?  Coming into the present is a means of making friends with whatever situation you find yourself in.  Where we were for example, we found some beautiful gardens, and just sat there, listening to the birds, drinking aromatic coffee, watching the vivid greenery sway in the light breezes.

3. Don’t go on about it

I’ve waited a month before writing this article.  Enough time needed to pass so that writing this wouldn’t cost me emotionally.  If you’ve had a bad experience, maybe it’s not a good idea to start blogging about it, or writing critical reviews on Trip Advisor straightaway.  As you let things go, they have less power over you.

4. Leave

If you don’t like something and you can leave, do just it.  Last year we chose a number of bad plays at the theatre.  We walked out of two of them within minutes of their starting, rather than subject ourselves to watching unpleasant characters acting out unpleasant situations for the following two hours.  TVs and radios have off switches too!

5. Remember that this too will pass

Whatever situation you find yourself in, it won’t last forever.  Reminding yourself of the transitory nature of whatever you’re doing can help you not to get stuck in it.  Try just saying to yourself “This too will pass”; and, of course, it will!

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Next time you face disappointment, try using some of these techniques.  If they don’t work, try going on holiday!