Travel can be a wonderful experience. It can also be stressful. The consequences of missing a train or a
flight, especially when others depend on you, mean that difficulties seem to be
magnified.
Working with the reality of how things are, rather than
wishing they were otherwise, is the key to good emotional and psychological
health. This belief was sorely tested in
a journey I made recently that involved transferring between terminals at Lagos
airport.
I had heard how chaotic the airport in Nigeria’s biggest
city is, but I was unprepared for the madness that met me as I came out of the
domestic terminal. Somehow my appointed driver
found me amid all the others touting their taxi services and loaded me into his
car for the 5km drive to the international terminal. We soon hit the traffic jam that led all the
way to departures. We crawled forward, standing
static for long minutes, staring into the tail-lights of the car in front. I could see the time available to me slipping
away and dealt with my temptation to get frustrated by repeating to myself the
mantra “I don’t mind what happens”. This
was hard to believe at times, but the words did help.
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| Lagos airport departures |
I didn’t actually miss my flight, as, unbeknown to me as we
struggled through the traffic, it had been cancelled. Any stress that I could have expended would
have been pointless anyway. And that is,
in my experience, usually the case with stress; it’s usually self-created and
counter-productive. I managed to leave the
following night. Instead of the weekend
in Dakar I’d been looking forward to, I spent a day of it in an airport hotel
in Lagos. No big deal, not really.
The testimony of countless men and women who’ve endured
hardships far worse than mine at Lagos airport, is that accepting what is,
rather than getting frustrated or angry, is the most constructive way of
coping.
Rather than getting wound up when things don’t go as
planned, it’s far better to work with what
is. So next time you find
yourself in a traffic jam, or stranded at a station or airport, take a deep
breath, smile, and say to yourself “I don’t mind what happens”. Then see what happens.
My tips for accepting what is:
1. Give yourself a
positive message
I found it incredibly helpful to tell myself “I don’t mind
what happens” when I was stuck in that Lagos traffic jam. The sorts of messages that help are “we are
where we are”, “I accept what is” and “this too will pass”.
2. Focus on your
breathing
Even one conscious breath begins the process of rooting you
in the present, bringing you out of the fantasies inside your head. Breathe in through your nose, and feel the
air. Breathe out through your mouth and
smile. Try it now: it works!
3. Let go of planning
I was running “what if” scenarios in my head as my taxi
crawled forward. When you’re stuck in a
situation it’s not the right time to try to be trying to work things out. Any number of things might happen, but they
probably won’t. And whatever happens,
the only time you can deal with it is then!
Think of Doris Day, and maybe even sing (quietly lest you be arrested) “Que sera, sera: what will be, will be”.
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