But the debate got me thinking about my threshold for annoyance, and how I should react to things that get my goat.
I subscribe to the idea that we can create a gap between the thing that prompts our irritation, and our reaction to it. This may be a lifetime’s work, but it should be possible not to get annoyed, no matter the provocation.
This doesn’t mean pretending I’m not annoyed when I plainly am. It’s about taking a split second, that gap, to see that I’m getting wound up, recognise this, and in a way step outside it, look in, and say to myself: “there’s Adam getting wound up”. This then takes my attention off the annoyance and brings me back to the present. Which is where we need to be.
My belief that this is the right thing to do comes from my observation of the consequences of words and actions that arise from annoyance; they rarely promote harmony, and all too often lead to clashes. They may be understandable, but they aren’t constructive. But more importantly, getting annoyed just costs me too much energy.
This is a hard path to take, and those closest to me will know that I don’t always follow it, but it’s where I’d like to go. Perhaps if more of us chose it, the question as to whether we need laws to protect us from annoyance wouldn’t even arise.
Tips for overcoming annoyance
1. Observe your reaction
The moment you look at yourself, rather than the cause of your annoyance, you break its power over you. Say to yourself, “I can see I’m getting annoyed”.
2. Laugh at it
I have a tendency towards earnestness, which can lead to me getting upset. The best way to make sure this doesn’t happen is to find myself amusing. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
3. Recognise that this too will pass
A whining child, someone whose politics you disagree with, an oaf or a bore. The experience of these can try you. But, they will pass. And you move on. It’s under your control.
4. Create space
If someone is talking noisily on their mobile phone in your vicinity, and it’s annoying you, just move away. Change carriages if you’re on a train, and then let it go. Don’t, for their sake, burden the person you’re about to meet with a rant about it later. That will do neither you, nor they any good. And it certainly won’t affect that git with the phone.
5. Be kind to yourself
If you do find yourself getting annoyed, it’s not the end of the world. Accept that this is what’s happened, let it go and move on. With practice it becomes easier.
So I thank the House of Lords for throwing out this proposed piece of legislation. Perhaps I should also thank the politicians who suggested it. My reaction prompted me to think. I hope you don’t find my musings annoying!
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