Confidence tricks

One of the most common issues I deal with in my work as a coach is helping people to be more confident. Lack of confidence holds so many of us back. It often stops us from living the life that, deep down, we know we’d like to lead.

The good news is that you can learn to be more confident. It is a skill that you can develop. Like all skills, it needs practice. But it is within our grasp. I believe greater confidence is something that we can all learn to achieve.

My approach to helping to boost people’s confidence is influenced by something I read in Matthew Parris’s autobiography, Chance Witness. He was talking about an incident when he was at school. Something happened that required an act of bravery of one of the boys. The young Matthew was as frightened as everyone else, but stepped up to the challenge. Afterwards everyone said how brave he’d been. He wrote that he didn’t feel brave at the time, but “by acting as if I was brave, I became brave”.

A similar approach works particularly well with confidence. If you act as if you are confident, you become confident. Try it, and see for yourself.

Below I outline some of the things you can do boost your confidence. I would be very happy to talk to you about applying these tips. Call me on 07947 959869 to arrange your free initial consultation.

You can learn to be more confident and outgoing. There’s no need to be held back. Take your first steps today, and see the difference that living with confidence makes to your life.


1. Stand tall

Have you noticed how confident people tend to have a larger than life presence? And those who apologise for themselves tend to shrink away? To project a more confident image, stand tall. Feel the ground through your feet. Hold your head up high and look around.

2. Eye contact

Timid people tend to avoid others’ eyes. Once you are standing up tall, you will find it easier to look into people’s eyes. Make your eye contact friendly. You’ll be surprised how often this invites a smile.

3. Believe in yourself

Value what makes you unique. What gives you energy? What are your passions? Believe in these aspects of yourself. Be enthusiastic about them. This will make you more confident, and more interesting.

4. Let go of the past

Through your life to date you may have picked up all sorts of messages that you’ve interpreted to mean that you’re not worthy, that you’re boring, that you should apologise for who you are. Decide not to be constrained by such ways of thinking any more. My experience is that we can decide to change the way we think and behave. We don’t have to continue to act in the same way. How would your life be different if you let go of all those experiences and beliefs that hold you back? Have a go at letting go. And do it today. Life’s too short to live it in the shadows.

5. Believe

Belief is the essence of all change. What distinguishes successful people from the rest is the fact that they believe in themselves. Even if you don’t believe, act as if you did believe. What would you do if you really believed you were more confident? How would it change your behaviour? Don’t waste another day. Have a go at putting it into practice and see the difference it can make.


You can learn to be more confident. Try pretending to be more confident. Do it in front of a mirror if it helps. Then take your new creation out into the world. You can do it, and your life will be happier as a result.